My week has gotten off to a rocky start, although the second half is certainly looking up. On Monday I was very shocked and saddened by the shootings at Virginia Tech. Although I am usually aware and empathetic to things like this in the news, this event hit me very hard for some reason. I know that I am extremely hormonal from the pregnancy, and that has something to do with my heightened emotions, but what kept running through my mind is "How do you explain this sort of thing to a child?" My focus has shifted from Jake and myself being the center of my universe to Mason, and the fact that we are bringing someone into a world that at times defies logic and explanation. I know we have a few years before we'll have to answer the hard questions, but it has really given me pause the past few days.
As if Monday was not emotionally draining enough, Tuesday was worse. On Tuesday I lost my job with Albertsons. I was laid off due to a restructure that caught us all by surprise. I am still a bit stunned by the whole turn of events. I was a total wreck for 24 hours and then we went to the doctor and he said that my blood pressure was high, my heart rate was high and I had lost weight and that if I didn't calm down I could have this baby right away. I knew that my stress was affecting Mason, but hearing it from the doctor made me try even harder to get a handle on things. I don't want Mason to be stressed or feel that he is stressing me out, so I have a much brighter outlook today. I also know that everything will work out just the way it should, and more than likely better than it was. I do have to praise Jake for his amazing patience and his knack for always saying the right thing at the right time. I woke him up at least 5 times Tuesday night crying and he was up with me every time calming down until I fell asleep again. He's going to be such a good dad!
So now it's Thursday and I feel much better about things, haven't cried in almost 24 hours, and I am looking so forward to having a baby! I certainly have time on my hands to get things ready for him!
Thursday, April 19, 2007
A Rough Week So Far
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5 comments:
Steph, I'm so sorry. Dana told me and of course I have vowed never to shop at Albertson's again. And yes, please keep the stress level down because Mason needs to be born on May 13th!
The year Brian was born, we had the Oklahoma City Federal Building bombing. Then 9/11 was 3 days before Heather's second birthday.
This is a crazy world, but there is still so much more good than bad. Kids are part of what makes it a wonderful world! Family and friends are, too! Love you guys! Hang in there!
It's not just hormones Steph, that one hit me hard too. Don't worry about the job; I'm sure it's not nearly as good as the one you're going to find. You were going to need some maternity leave anyway...
Wait, and wait but be prepared. I took one look at Goldie when she was born and asked myself how I could be so selfish as to bring this beautiful baby into such a mean world. You two are about to fall in love with a little person in a way you never thought possible.
Your next child (by the way, have you planned #2 yet?) will be less stressful because you are experienced.
And, have you thought about what you will do when/if they call you back to work again? It could be temporary even with a severance.
Even at its worst, it will never be as bad as when I was 17. I still remember how to live on the cheap and Stephanie and I know how to budget finances. Things are almost always better in the long term than how they look in the short. Stephanie is still unwilling to sell all of our worldly possessions and move to a trailer park in the middle of some 3rd world country. The price of her car might support us into our golden years there. Moldy, dry bread and tepid, dirty water is really all we need to survive right? I have no idea why she is so stubbornly resisting the idea. Silly girl.
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